Bedtime issues with Bee

A few months ago we went through a bit of a rough patch with Bee at bedtime. Bedtime with our girls isn’t always the easiest, but when is putting 3 kids under the age of 5 to bed at the same time supposed to be easy. There’s teeth that need brushing and books to read and PJ’s to find, all the while trying to keep the kids from playing and getting all excited right before bedtime.

Bee being the eldest of the three gets a few things that are a little different from the other girls. She has a radio in her room, so she gets to listen to a story on CD after we turn the lights off. Also the other girls are both still in a crib or a variation of, where she’s in a single bed, so she gets to have cuddles from mommy or daddy after we turn the lights off.

The problems started when we realized that cuddling with her every night was adding about 30 minutes to her bedtime and that the whole bedtime process was taking way too long. So we started cutting out the cuddle. The problem is that Bee had gotten so accustomed to having a cuddle after the lights were turned off that when we told her we were going to stop, she got really upset. She would lie in her bed crying / screaming for us to come back and cuddle. We would go downstairs to start our evening (and by that I mean to clean the kitchen, make our lunches and to make their breakfasts) and she would just lie in her bed screaming. We could go up and talk to her, or yell at her, or try and console her but as long as she wasn’t getting a cuddle she wouldn’t stop.

It turned into a nightly issue for two weeks, but the problem was that it was no longer about the cuddle. We weren’t quite sure what was going. After we thought we had broken the cuddling issue, she starting going to the bathroom, a lot. We’ve always told her that after we go downstairs if she needed to go to the bathroom, she was allowed to leave her bed to go, but to be quiet. But now she was telling us that she was afraid that she was going to have a pee pee accident in her bed, so she kept going to the bathroom to try. After she would try a few times we could hear her crying very quietly in her bed. When one of us went up she would tell us that her body told her that she had to go pee, and she was so worried she was going to wet the bed that she would go to the bathroom. But when she got to the bathroom nothing would come out and she would go back to bed just to have the feeling again that she had to go pee. For her it was a vicious cycle that was driving her crazy. After 2 nights of this going on, I suggested to her that she could wear a pull-up at bedtime to help if she had an accident. She thought this was a great idea and was reassured that even if she had an accident at least it would be in the pull-up.

But as parents we started getting worried. Was it a UTI? Sometimes you can have the constant feeling of having to go to the bathroom, even though nothing ever comes out. Was she starving for attention? Was she doing all of this to get us back upstairs, while trying to fill the time where she usually got to cuddle with us? So many ideas and theories went through our minds, we just couldn’t figure out what was going on.  It turned out it wasn’t a UTI, she never showed any of the same symptoms during the day so we were able to rule that out. Now that she was wearing a pull-up for a few nights she was getting comfortable knowing that she had a safety net. Well guess what happened next? When I told her that she couldn’t keep wearing a pull-up every night, because she was a big girl and didn’t need it, she went back to the same attitude of yelling and crying in her bed to get her way. We would tell her that we were leaving and go downstairs and she would continue to yell and cry!

I wish I could tell you the magic solution for what made this crisis stop. Eventually we were able to convince her that she didn’t need to wear the pull-up every night, and we told her that if she went to bed with no issues then possibly the next night one of us would give her a very short cuddle. It took a few nights to finally get the good behavior and we followed through by giving her a short cuddle, but now she understood that it wasn’t going to be every night!

The parenting lessons that we learned from this, and it is actually something that I’ve tried to do since they were younger but I guess we were giving in too much when it came to the cuddling, is that when it comes to children it is not the best practice to do something as a constant routine, if eventually you don’t want it to become a habit. There are lots of special things that I do for my children, but I’ve always noticed that when it starts to become a routine instead of sporadic, they become dependent on it and have trouble when the routine changes.

Have you had any similar bedtime experiences to this? Feel free to share in the comments!




Where’s your nose?

As parents I find that we tend to look down on our childless friends; the single buddy or the newly married couple. We assume that they have no idea how to help with the children and make comments to then like: “You’ll understand when you have kids.”

But the other day I was the one who was shocked by three family members, who don’t have kids and who were able to deal with a situation better than I was. We were at a family BBQ and Livey was eating her supper. She wasn’t in the best mood this afternoon after not having napped and being at a family event where there were more faces that she wasn’t used to seeing, she was feeling very shy. So she’s eating her supper and she bites her tongue. When a child has this kind of ‘injury’ there is nothing you can do and it can be very frustrating to parents because they become the biggest actors in the world and it is like their arm has been cut off. Yes we all know it hurts, but it will get better! I was trying to console her but I kept focusing on the tongue and telling her it was going to be okay.

Right away my sister-in-law and Livey’s uncle asked Livey where her nose went. They made a big deal about how her nose disappeared and where did she leave it. She laughed and got so focused on the joke the whole problem about the tongue bite was gone. I was completely impressed by this idea and went out of my way to let these other adults know how much it helped. Such a small like joke, but it helped avoid a huge disaster with Livey!

Too many stuffed animals

So Livey sleeps with about 10 stuffed animals in her bed. I’ve tried to slowly remove them and for a while it worked, but eventually she brings a few more to bed each night and ends up with 9 or 10 again. Now she’s started to bring them down with her in the morning when she wakes up. It started with 1 or 2 but this morning she was having a little trouble opening her door and called out for help.


I think it’s getting a little out of hand…. 🙂

Rough Morning

This morning Livey woke up, as we say in our house, on the wrong side of the crib.

I was busy trying to put Brella back to sleep, so the rest of us could start our morning, and all that Livey wanted was Daddy. Mom went into her room to get her, but she was not having it. (If she had all her words, I’m sure this is what she would say) “Where is daddy, I was crying for daddy and he didn’t come in… this is unacceptable”. So Livey had a meltdown in her crib still waiting for daddy. The issue with Livey when she has any kind of a meltdown is she has no volume control and can be so loud!

I finally went in to get her and got her to calm down. She only wanted to get dressed on ‘mommy & daddy’s’ bed, so we went there (even though we never get dressed there in the morning). Once dressed, Mom was going to tie her hair, but she wasn’t having it. She lied down in mom’s lap and had another meltdown, so mom took Bee and went downstairs to tie her hair, leaving her with me.

I got dressed and in trying to calm Livey down and give her a hug, she threw her head into mine and my nose started bleeding. I tossed her back onto the bed to try and deal with this new problem and my nose drips onto her shirt. Great! Now she needs a new shirt. I grab a Kleenex in one hand and block my nose and throw Livey over my shoulder, go downstairs and drop her on the couch, where she proceeds to continue her meltdown.

Mom finally got to tie her hair, but when she tried to get her coat on her, she had another meltdown and we left her on the floor at the front door sounding like fire trucks coming to a five-alarm fire, while everyone else finished getting ready.

When we finally got her calmed down, I took her hand to walk outside. I looked down at Livey and said “Are you finished now, is there going to be anymore crying?”. She looked up with puffy eyes and red cheeks and said “Yes, I’m finished.”

She didn’t say boo all the way to daycare…

(The bonus in all of this, Bee, our opinionated 4 year-old, who never wants to do what we need her to do, was an angel all morning. She even came upstairs to get Livey a shirt (to replace the bloody one) and asked me if my bloody nose was okay! You have to look at the brighter side of things sometimes I guess!)

Silly things that kids say

Here is a compilation of some of the silly and hilarious things that my kids say, I’ll keep it updated.

On Jan 29th, 2018:

Bee: We’re playing babies okay Livey?
Livey: Okay! I’ll be the mommy and you can be the mommy. Cause the daddy died…..

On Aug 18th, 2017:

Let me give this one a little context… Livey has recently changed classes at daycare, going from the stars to the ladybugs. Her educator has been telling her she’s a big girl and using her height as a measuring stick with how much of a ‘big’ girl she is becoming.

Bee was playing with little pieces of Lego and Livey was trying to get involved. Mom told her that it was for big girls and the pieces were a little too big for her and this is what she said.

Livey: …but mommy I am a big girl!
Livey: …but I can reach the shelf!
Livey: …but I’m a LADYBUG!!!!

On Aug 6th, 2017:
Bee was playing with her pretend food and putting it all in a backpack.

Dad: Wait take that brown one back out, what is it?
Bee: I dunno what this is…
Dad: It’s a chicken drumstick.

She laughed and walked away. A few seconds later she called me from across the room and said “Like this daddy?“. She was using the drumstick to hit the music toy with the drums on it!

I then tried to explain to her that a Chicken Drumstick and an actual Drumstick are not quite the same thing. She was very confused….

On Apr 4th, 2017:
(I will preface this with the fact that my kids have been obsessed with the trolls music and the Justin Timberlake song. Also Livey’s teacher had told me a story about getting stuck in the mud at daycare while playing in a puddle.)

Dad: Livey tell mommy what happened today at today
Livey: …
Dad: Tell mommy.
Livey: …
Dad: “I got…”
Livey: … I got .. that sunshine in my pocket!

( In case you missed it these are the lyrics to the song Can’t Stop the Feeling)

On Feb 20th, 2017:
Bee : (After I’ve just put a table cloth on the table before supper) “But daddy I wanted to clean off the table, Livey just blessyoued all over the table!”

Sleeping Beauty and Kisses

Lying in bed the other night during our nightly cuddles Bee starts to tell me a story about how she acted out Sleeping beauty with some of the other children at daycare.

She was playing the part of Aurora, got pricked by the spinning wheel and feel to the floor cause she was put under the spell. One of the boys in her class was playing the prince and I asked her what happened next. She tells me the boy kissed me to wake up the princess! Right away I asked her where did he kiss you? She said on the lips, “that’s where prince Philip kisses Aurora in the movie!”

I don’t know about this kissing thing… I’m going to have to talk to this boy! 😉